Top qualities that will make you more likable and make people wanting to associate with you.
In many instances , your likability often boils down to your emotional intelligence.
You might be naturally likable, or you might be a work in progress. If you’re in the latter group, here are the highlights of one particularly helpful Quora thread: “What are useful social skills that can be picked up quickly?“
Related: How To Discover Your Real Self
Out of the 83 answers submitted by users, we selected 10 simple ways to make yourself more likable:
1. Call people by their name.
People tends to feel great and comfortable when they are greeted by their name. It creates some sense of security and some level of importance when we identify people by their names.
If you have trouble putting names to faces, try different strategies, such as writing them down or using imagery or rhymes associated with the name. Quora user Howard Lee suggests repeating names verbally when you’re first introduced and then twice more in your head.
2. Making eye contact.
“It looks so simple , but it remains one of the most impactful life hacks around,” writes Quora user Brad Porter. “The most attractive quality in a person is confidence. But ‘be confident’ is not very good advice. Instead, find the best proxy for confidence, in terms of interactive behavior. And that’s eye contact.”
Start this habit immediately, says Porter. It requires no practice or special skill — just the commitment to meet someone’s gaze and look them in the eye while conversing.
3. Give less attention to your phone.
When having any conversation , it’s advisable to keep your phone in your pocket until your conversation or meeting is over.Basil Chiasson puts it simply: “Pay attention. Look at them. Stop what you’re doing. No interruptions.”
This is another simple yet effective habit that can be executed immediately to make you more likable and it does not require any effort or skill.
4. The magic of smile.
Never underestimate the power of smiling. It’s has a magnetic force to attract people to you. This is more revealing when it comes from a sincere heart.
Additionally, laugh and tell jokes,recommends Quora user Craig Fraser. People unconsciously mirror the body language of the person they’re talking to. If you want to be likable, use positive body language and people will naturally return the favor.
5. Be an active listener.
Simply hearing words doesn’t cut it. Likable people truly listen to the person they’re talking to.
Active listening requires four steps,writes Chiasson: hearing, interpreting, evaluating, and responding.
Step one requires dropping what you’re doing and paying attention. Next, “paraphrase what you’ve heard and ask clarifying questions,” she suggests. Evaluating means steering clear of quick judgment and jumping to conclusions: “Make sure you have all the pertinent information before forming or expressing an opinion.” Finally, “give feedback to let the speaker know that you heard them,” she writes.
6. Learn how to tell great stories.
Storytelling doesn’t come naturally to everyone. Quora user Joe Cassandra gives some good, concrete advice on how to master the skill:
“Write down 20 stories and store them in an Evernote. Before social interactions, pull it out to refresh and whip those bad boys out and get people laughing. What you’ll find is each time you tell the story, you get better. You’ll see where most people laugh. Where they don’t, Where their eyes glaze over etc. Practice, Practice. I’ve mastered my dog Cooper’s ‘Easter from Hell story’ because I’ve told it a zillion times. It’s funny.”
7. Flatter people.
“This grabs people directly by their ego and is therefore extremely effective,” writes Julian Reisinger.
He suggests using conversation openers that make the other person feel like an expert, such as “You know a lot about social marketing, don’t you?” or “Do you know why I always get this error message?”
This way, you learn something new and the other person gets to feel needed. “It’s as easy as that, it’s a win-win, and it works 100% of the time,” Reisinger says.
8. Carry everyone along.
It stinks to feel left out when you’re talking in a group. You can avoid this by making sure you look at everyone involved, according to Reisinger.
“Make everyone feel like they are a part of the conversation and their attention will be yours,” he says.
If it appears that someone in the group is trying to say something but keeps getting cut off, take it upon yourself to help them jump in. You can try, “Jim, did you want to say something?” But never put anyone on the spot of make them feel uncomfortable.
9. Drop the habit of always complaining.
Being around negative people is draining. For you to be likable, you must not always complain about issues around. Rather make yourself a solution to unsuitable situations and people will like you for that.
Being a Negative Nancy is an instant turnoff. If you notice yourself complaining while everyone else starts to look distracted, do yourself a favor and pick a new topic.
10. Don’t easily jump to conclusion.
Sometimes, our brains can cause us to jump to conclusions about people. This can cause us to become more closed off. In order to avoid getting the wrong impression of anyone, Quora user John Roldanargues that it’s important to get familiar with nonverbal communication.
“The problem with making a ‘snap judgment’ is we make them with a ‘low level structure’ in our brain. This implies that little reasoning is employed when we initially attribute character traits to someone.”
Credit: Business Insider